FIRST LADY RANT: Over the years, in every one of my business ventures from Salon owner to Success Coach, I have had countless conversations with women who have secretly whispered to me their own stories of survival, then the other day I saw this video from Melissa Harris-Perry and I knew that for those women and for me I can longer be silent.
For the past few months, the women of America have listened as some of our male politicians (policy makers & writers of the law) have dismissively explained away the horror of rape resulting in pregnancy with such vile comments as: “pregnancy from rape is ‘something God intended.'” Or how about this one: “victims of ‘legitimate rape’ almost never become pregnant”. (See full story here)
As I have silently observed this obvious display of “caveman-ism” from those who are supposedly among the most influential men in our country, I’ve deeply pondered the question, “What would create such insensitivity on the part of these men to the painful violation of a woman in such a way?”
It was not until I read this, in my opinion, the most ridiculous & dismissive of all of the comments did I get it; one of these illustrious “gents” had the unmitigated gall to compare pregnancy as a result of rape to “having a baby out of wedlock.” As I calmed myself to keep from throwing something, I shuttered as flashbacks of a painful memory turned the blood in my veins ice cold.
“his smell, the look in his eyes, how what was once a voice I couldn’t wait to hear on the other end of the phone became a sound that terrorized me – the weight of his body bearing down on me, the pressure of him penetrating me over & over again, tearing, burning; ME screaming & crying in pain & disbelief; HIM moaning & grunting in pleasure & satisfaction. The horror of hearing him say “I’m gonna break you – You think you’re all that but I’m gonna break you down!! Pretty girls like you need to be fucked hard so they can be brought down a notch or two…” (excerpt from the forthcoming release “From Dead Last to First Lady”)
What I would not freely give to a man, he chose to violently take. Yes, I survived the brutality of what rape did to my physical body but, as with every survivor of sexual violation, the mental & emotional scars will FOREVER be with me. The belief by these men, (any man for that matter) that control over our bodies, be it rape or the right to choose what course of action to take if that same rape results in pregnancy, is to be dictated and determined by them is just plain wrong!!
In reading and contemplating the comments of these men, what I came to realize is that just like the man who believed that he had the right to decide to force my engagement in what he saw as the sport of “breaking me” through what he later called “just rough sex”, the sick minds of these politicians believe the same thing that it’s just sex, so what’s the big deal?
Let me assure you that it is NOT “just sex”, it is a soul-shattering violation of all that is sacred to a woman. The tearing down of her self-esteem, her sexual expression, her judgment, her confidence, her faith in God, her ability to love herself & others, and her trust in men. It takes a LIFETIME of work, one day at a time, to pull back together all the little pieces of yourself and to regain the sense of power and control over your own body. Every woman’s body belongs to her and as such, ONLY she has the right to make decisions about what happens to her body.
© 2012 Frantonia Pollins International
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With a zealous commitment to “re-introducing” women to their TRUE power, Frantonia Pollins
is a compelling, compassionate & RESULTS oriented author, speaker & success coach.
Affectionately known as “America’s First Lady of Empowerment,” Frantonia is on a personal
crusade to inspire 1,000,000 Women to conquer their fears about Money & Wealth, Discover
their own uniquely Divine & powerful purpose on the planet and create successful businesses
that empower them to leave a Multi-generational Legacy of Wealth. Her latest initiative is the
FIRST LADY LIFESTYLE ACADEMY, a 12 month coaching intensive designed to guide women
toward being powerfully positioned as “First Lady” in 7 key areas of their lives.
2-Health & Wellness
3-Love & Relationships
4-Spiritual / Self Awareness
6-Career & Entrepreneurship
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For more info visit www.FrantoniaPollins.com